if we had Klingon programmers ...

we'd be likely to hear:

  • Specifications are for the weak and timid!!
  • You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in the original Klingon.
  • What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software 'releases'. Our software escapes, leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake!
  • Klingon function calls do not have "parameters"--they have "arguments"-- and they ALWAYS WIN THEM.
  • Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak.
  • I have challenged the entire Quality Assurance team to a Bat-Leh contest! They will not concern us again.
  • A TRUE Klingon warrior does not comment his code.
  • By filing this bug report you have challenged the honor of my family. Prepare to die!
  • You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!
  • Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!

Source: Lockergnome

Steve Johnson

Steve Johnson

Steve Johnson was a founding instructor at Pragmatic Institute, a role he held for more than 15 years before he left to start Under10 Playbook. In his return to Pragmatic Institute, Steve supports the complete learning path for product teams, ensuring they are fully armed for success. 

Over the course of his career, Steve has helped thousands of companies and tens of thousands of product professionals implement product management processes. He has worked in the high-tech arena since 1981, rising through the ranks from product manager to chief marketing officer. Steve has experience in technical, sales and marketing management positions at companies that specialize in both hardware and software. In addition, he is an author, speaker and advisor on product strategy and product management.

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